


Let Him in, Peter

by elceri



Category: The Patriot (2000)
Genre: Afterlife, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Heaven, M/M, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 16:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elceri/pseuds/elceri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel's death at the hands of General Tavington is not the end -- it's only the beginning of a life unlike anything he could have possibly imagined in a place he had only dreamed (or prayed) existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place immediately after Gabriel’s death at the hands of General Tavington. I am assuming that Thomas was shot by Tavington about three years before. (I believe that would still make him underage, although there are extenuating circumstances here...)
> 
> Inspiration Song/Suggested Soundtrack: "Prayer to St. Peter" by Edwin McCain
> 
> Originally published January 12, 2002 under a pseudonym I can no longer use. Contact me if there are any concerns.

“…Thomas…”

Those were the last words I remember hearing myself say.

I thought of you.

I think of you now, as the cold descends upon my body, and the darkness overwhelms me.

But as the darkness grows almost cloistering, in its midst is a point of light.

My brother, is it truly Heaven I see before me?

In everything I have done in the years since you were murdered—since you died for me—I have thought of you.

Resigned to life without you, my precious brother, by my side, I wed the only woman I knew who I could be with, who would understand the unbearable pain I carried with me.

We agreed our first son would be called Thomas.

Those dreams were burned to the ground, just as my dreams of you were burst in a single gunshot.

All I had left was the Cause, the same Cause you were so passionate about with me.

And then that was taken away from me with a thrust of a sword.

And so I fell… and now I rise.

The light is growing closer, and it spreads, it turns the oppressive darkness gray.

What lies ahead of me, Thomas? Is this what you saw as you lay on the ground, breathing your final breath as I was drug away?

Was my name on your lips in that final breath?

I am afraid, Thomas. I was always afraid, but I never showed it – never to anyone but you. You knew me… after you died, nobody truly knew me. Not even Father, not even Anne, although bless them, they tried. They just couldn’t be you.

The light will soon envelop me… and then what is to come of me? Shall I see Saint Peter himself? I am afraid, Thomas… what I fear most is that I shall come to my final resting place, the Paradise that the Lord promised us as he died on the cross, and you won’t be there. I fear most that all that I have prayed every miserable, cold, pain-filled, lonely night will have been for naught.

How shall I survive eternity without you?


	2. Let Him In, Peter

The first thing Gabriel could remember was shock. He had hovered over the man he’d thought to be dead, intending to maim his corpse with a stab for every night he had cried himself to sleep at the sight of his precious brother’s body crumpling from that fatal gunshot, and then a slash for every tear Thomas’s death had caused the rest of the family, and then a cut for every day that he would have to live without Thomas. In his blind fury, he could see nor comprehend anything but vengeance for not only Thomas’s death, but also vengeance for Anne’s death – Anne, the sweet, caring, compassionate, understanding friend whom he had poured his heart out to as he had laid bound in bed. He had confessed all – the true depth of his love for his brother, and his agony at the thought of life without him. It was then they had planned to marry, and live together in hopes that time would at least heal the wounds enough that they could live to see the whole new world that both Thomas and Gabriel had believed so passionately in.

What was left of his dream had then been ripped away by the thrust of Tavington’s sabre. He had contemplated this bitterly as he felt his father’s arms encircle him, infinite things to say with his dying breath swirling through his mind, and the only one escaping an apology for Thomas’s death. He knew his father had replied, but by then, it had all become a memory. His reality became a cold, clingy, frightening blackness that tugged him deeper and deeper into it, until a light appeared before him. He frantically struggled toward it, desperate to be rid of the blackness, and it quickly grew brighter, until he had to squint to see his way, and even then it finally overwhelmed him, until he tripped and stumbled, falling hard on something and shaking his aching head as his eyes adjusted to the bright light of the shining sun.

As his senses returned to him, he realized he had fallen on something hard and warm from the sun – a flagstone. He pushed himself up, brushing off his clothes – he was still in his ragged uniform – and looked around. There was a house there, one that looked vaguely familiar to him, along with a barn with livestock and animals. Several other houses were within sight, as well. The sun was indeed shining bright, and it was a clear, balmy day.

Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair, thoroughly confused. “Am I dreaming?” he asked aloud, staring around in wonder at the sights that were so incredibly familiar, yet just out of the grasp of his mind.

Suddenly the chirping of small voices, coming from around the other side of the modest-sized house, caught his attention. He quickly reached to pick up his musket to investigate, but found it wasn’t there. Further perplexed, he crept cautiously around the house, spying first a small girl of at the most two years toddling around in pursuit of two other children – a boy of perhaps five, and another girl, who appeared to be the same age. They ran in circles around a woman, who was sitting peacefully on a blanket in the grass, knitting, a serene smile on her face. When she looked up and met Gabriel’s eyes, he felt faint. He was certain what he was seeing was a vision, but he was unable to stop his body from lurching toward the figure, a cry welling up from his parched throat.

“Mama!”

He threw himself into the woman’s lap as though he were a child himself, burying his face in her bosom and sobbing. She looked exactly as he had remembered her, long blond waves falling freely around her shoulders, and her brown eyes serene and passionate. “Mama, am I dreaming? Am I dead? What’s going on? Mama, I’m frightened,” he sobbed, once again feeling as though he were just a boy.

“Shh, Gabriel,” she soothed him, stroking his hair and holding him close. “Don’t be afraid. You’re safe.”

“Am I dead, Mama? Did Tavington kill me?” Gabriel hiccupped through his tears, trying to keep a grasp on some sense of sanity.

“Yes, my sweet son, you are,” Mama replied, holding him tighter when his sobs came anew, the reality beginning to grip him. “But you’re all right now. Nobody will hurt you any more.”

“But Papa… and Aunt Charlotte… Nathan…” Gabriel choked.

“They’ll be all right, Gabriel,” Mama soothed, rocking him, as the small children quieted in their play and came closer. “They’ll go on, just as we did when we lost Ruth to scarlet fever, and when David and Mary were stillborn,” she paused for a moment, reaching out to caress the face of each child as she said their names, a heart-stopping realization settling in over Gabriel as he witnessed this, “and just as you all did when I died.”

“Then this…” Gabriel sat up, looking at the siblings he hadn’t known, or had barely known. They had all died in infancy, but there they were: Ruth strongly resembled Nathan and Samuel, with her long, straight brown hair and solemn brown eyes, while David and Mary, who had been twins, both had the same blonde curls that Gabriel and Susan possessed, although they had Father’s blue eyes. The children stared solemnly at him, gathering close to Mama. “This is Heaven?”

“It is!” Ruth chimed in, until Mama chided her to take the children inside to wash up for supper. Once they were gone, Mama shifted, holding Gabriel back a little to stare into his face.

“To see you now… it’s so different to have you here,” she whispered, emotion overcoming her for a moment. She bowed her head to compose herself, then nodded a little. “Ruth was both correct and not so. This is Heaven, but it is only a part of it.”

“I don’t understand,” Gabriel said, the serene peace of his mother’s presence calming him greatly. He looked around, squinting again at the glare of the sun. “This all looks so familiar…”

“That’s because it is,” Mama replied, smiling, the wind picking up some of the curls spilling from her bonnet and tossing them around. “You were born at this place on the Earth. Your father finished work on the plantation house just after Thomas was born, and we left this place to move there.”

“This place exists both in Heaven and below?” Gabriel asked in wonder, touching the grass to feel if it was real – and indeed, it felt just as he remembered it. “I expected Heaven to be so…”

“Different? I assure you, the Paradise you see in your mind does exist, but you cannot go there until you are certain you wish to do so,” Mama replied, saying these words with the confidence of one who had firm proof. “Here is where all souls come to fully accept the death of their mortal souls. They reside here for as long as they wish – some forever – before they decide whether to fully shed all vestiges of their mortal lives and be fully received into Heaven. Some never wish to do this, and prefer to live here.”

“What’s here?” Gabriel asked, looking around, breathing deep of the air, which smelled as earthly as anything else he had ever experienced.

“I simply call it Home,” Mama said. “It is a part of your soul, a predestined place for you to be, where you come to be with those you love who passed on before, and to receive the first part of your Reward – life without pain, without fear, and without hardship.”

“Just like Earth, but without the bad things?” Gabriel asked, awed.

“Exactly. You always were so smart, my son… do you now understand?”

“I think so… so I can stay here as long as I want, or give up everything human about me and become an angel?”

“Yes,” Mama said with a smile, an angelic light dancing in her eyes, “Or you can choose to return to the Earth.”

“Return? I could go back? Pick up arms again for the Cause?” Gabriel rose to his knees in excitement at the prospect.

“No, no, my impetuous Gabriel,” Mama said with a chuckle, putting a soft hand to his shoulder. “Some, after living all they wish here, find they miss the Earth. They may choose to return, but they return as someone else. Their soul comes into another body, to live a whole new life, in a whole new place.”

“Heavens,” Gabriel whispered, wondering if that choice of word were truly appropriate, given the circumstances, but not retracting it. “So I could choose…”

“No, you do not choose,” Mama interrupted. “From what I have witnessed, the Lord himself chooses where and who you will be, although I have seen many petition him for particulars – some were granted, and some not.”

Gabriel nodded, steepling his fingers and bowing his head, digesting all of this information. Here he was, killed at the hands of the most savage, cold-blooded man he had ever come in contact with, and moments later he found himself speaking to his dearly departed mother on the very nature of heaven, while thronged by his deceased siblings— He stopped suddenly at that thought.

Deceased siblings…

Gabriel looked up, his eyes meeting Mama’s, the sparkle in her eyes almost acknowledging his thought without him lending voice to it. “Is he here?” he whispered, voice catching in his throat.

Mama simply nodded, rising gracefully and holding her hands out to Gabriel. “He is here,” she said. “And he has been waiting for you. Go to him, Gabriel.” She pointed a finger eastward, where in the distance, a small river was marked by a strip of trees along the horizon. “Go to him.” She gave him a knowing look, and Gabriel nodded, backing away from her, turning toward the river bottom. He hesitated for a moment, then whirled back around, wrapping his arms around his mother in a tight embrace.

“I love you, Mama,” he whispered, temporarily overwhelmed once more by tears.

Mama returned the embrace, stroking his back. “I know, my Gabriel… and I love you too… I have loved you, and watched over you since the day I left you.” She then pulled away, looking him resolutely in the eyes. “Go to Thomas, Gabriel. We have forever now. Go.”

With a nod, Gabriel turned once more toward the river bottom, breaking quickly into a run. He soon shed his heavy jacket, the sun becoming oppressively hot beneath it. It didn’t matter – there was no army here. Everybody in this place was already free. He made short time to the edge of the trees, slowing down and creeping closer. He heard a sound slightly downstream, and through the dim shade Gabriel could make out a figure, crouching over the tinkling water as if in deep concentration. Gabriel’s heart leapt into his throat as he crept closer still, and as the distance between them closed, he could tell for certain that it was Thomas. He had changed a little – he was now taller, and slightly more filled out, and his hair was longer – but his face, even in its reverie, looked exactly as Gabriel remembered it. It was all he could do not to burst into tears again at the sight – one he had feared he would never behold again.

Thomas suddenly stiffened, as though feeling the fact that he was being watched, and stood up, scanning the opposite bank of the river, then slowly turning around. Gabriel could not bear to conceal himself any longer and stepped out of the shadows. “Thomas…” His voice was barely there, the name coming out a soft, throaty entreaty.

“Gabriel!” Thomas’s voice was strong and full of passion as he scrambled up the embankment, at the same time as Gabriel barreled downward. They met halfway, between two slopes, embracing tightly and rocking back and forth, the tears now unabashedly flowing.

“Thomas… my Thomas,” Gabriel cried, face buried in Thomas’s neck and smelling the natural, clean scent that nothing could ever replicate. “How I missed you… I’m so sorry…”

“No apologies,” Thomas whispered, sobbing as well, his face pressed tightly to Gabriel’s neck, his hands stroking his back. “It’s all done now… now you’re here… they said that they were to send for you today, but I was afraid to believe…”

“You knew?” Gabriel asked, breath brushing against Thomas’s ear and hair, trembling with emotion, so much so that he thought he might have to find a place to sit.

“Sometimes an angel will come to tell, when it’s someone important... And they knew you were important. I’d watch the water.” Thomas sniffled, standing back and glancing toward the water in the river, the sunlight sparkling on it now as it filtered through the trees. “When the sun hits the water, you can see to the Earth…”

“You can?” Gabriel pulled back as well, still holding Thomas’s hands, then looking at him, whispering, “You watched me?”

“I watched you every day,” Thomas said, tears freely streaking down his cheeks. “I would reach out and touch the water if you were asleep, hoping I could caress your cheek and let you know that I was safe and waiting for you… sometimes I tried to will myself to you in your dreams… I just wanted you to know how… how much…”

“I felt you,” Gabriel whispered, touching his own cheek with awe. “I used to dream about holding you in my arms, touching you… maybe they weren’t dreams…”

The two were silent for a moment, then their eyes met, and they flung themselves into each other’s arms again. “Thomas,” Gabriel choked out, the last words of his mortal life an echoing refrain – one he would never regret.

“My brother… my brave big brother,” Thomas whispered, and they pulled back once more, Gabriel cupping Thomas’s face to kiss him. He pressed his lips to Thomas’s smooth forehead, his cheeks, his nose, and his chin – each kiss grew more fervent, until before he knew what he was doing he had pressed his lips to Thomas’s. This kiss was far from chaste, and to his surprise, Thomas responded to him with no hesitation, relaxing and moving his lips beneath Gabriel’s.

Suddenly Gabriel remembered himself and he pulled back, panting softly, his lips warm and throbbing softly from the contact. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, noticing how wide and dilated Thomas’s eyes were. “That was wrong… I shouldn’t have…”

A gentle finger to his lips silenced him. “Nothing wrong is allowed to exist here, Gabriel,” Thomas whispered, moving closer. He leaned over, brushing his lips lightly against Gabriel’s, which felt more sensitive than they ever had. “And how could something that feels so right, be wrong?”

Another soft sob choked from Gabriel’s throat, and he nuzzled Thomas even more fervently, whispering against his lips. “I wanted this for so long… even when we were alive…”

“But we are alive,” Thomas protested, sliding his fingers through Gabriel’s hair, guiding his head in for another kiss. “We are so very, very alive…”

They kissed again, arms wrapped tightly around each other, barely able to remain standing. It was so much to grasp in such a short amount of time – it all seemed so perfect that Gabriel wondered how he could not possibly be dreaming. But everything felt so real to him – the warm, soft, insistent wetness of Thomas’s lips and tongue, his strong hands roaming Gabriel’s back through his vest and shirt, the firmness of his body in Gabriel’s arms – it was wholly unlike any dream he had ever experienced.

They parted once more, panting softly, and Thomas turned toward the water. “Do you want to see?” he asked, seemingly sensing Gabriel’s hesitance.

Gabriel nodded, taking Thomas’s proffered hand and squeezing it as they picked their way back down to the riverbank. He squatted down, pointing over to where glints of sunlight danced on the water. “There,” he whispered. “Look there.”

Gabriel did so, squatting down behind Thomas, wrapping his arms around him and setting his chin on his shoulder, staring at the glints. To his surprise, small glimpses of people began to appear in the glints, forming soon into a shimmering image that was of Father, Aunt Charlotte, and their siblings – plus another infant.

“Aunt Charlotte had a baby?” Gabriel asked, never loosening his hold on his brother.

“Mmm-hmm,” Thomas said, nodding so his hair brushed against Gabriel’s cheek. “That’s our half-sister, Grace.”

“Half-sis… ohh,” Gabriel said, with a soft smile, wondering what Mama thought of this. He was sure he’d find out soon enough.

They watched the images until they faded with the setting sun, remaining still in each other’s arms long after the stars came out. They talked of what it was like in there for Thomas, especially of how he would find men in fields who still couldn’t accept they were dead, so they were trapped between this Heaven and Earth, and would sometimes slip back as ghosts. Thomas tried to help them realize they were truly dead, and that there was a difference between the world of Heaven and the Earth, even if they couldn’t understand it. Gabriel thought it was a noble and amazing work, fitting of Thomas, especially since Thomas had helped many of Gabriel’s own compatriots make the journey. They were stirred from their full focus on each other by a soft, familiar voice from beyond the trees. “Gabriel? Thomas? Boys, come inside.”

Gabriel didn’t care that he was a man of over twenty years. He was so happy to hear the sweet voice of his mother once more that he gladly obeyed. Thomas never relinquished his hold on Gabriel’s hand, and as they emerged from the trees, Mama smiled at them both. “You’re glowing,” she commented, falling in beside them.

Thomas ducked his head, positively beaming, and Gabriel smiled as well. “You know so much about this place,” Gabriel commented, thinking about the discussion he and Thomas had been having, plus her words of wisdom when he had first arrived.

“I’ve been here for some time, you know,” Mama replied, pulling her shawl around her and shivering a little. “And so many souls come each day that are confused and frightened, that don’t understand what’s happened to him or where they are. So I help them, just like I helped you, and just like Thomas helps those who are lost.”

“You’ve stayed here, rather than continuing on? Even after all this time?” Gabriel asked, slightly awed.

“I enjoy helping who I can,” Mama said, “And I also vowed that I would not only stay with the little ones, but that I wanted to be here for each of you as you came. I can’t go until then.”

“Oh, Mama, you’re amazing,” Gabriel whispered, stopping and dropping Thomas’s hand to hug her tightly. He pulled back a little when he realized that she was quite cold. “You’re cold! I thought this was Heaven though… where everything is perfect…”

Mama laughed, turning back toward the house. Thomas took Gabriel’s hand once more as well. “This is Heaven, Gabriel, but I never said it was perfect. The only place that is truly perfect is Paradise, at the side of the Lord. Here, we have life almost as it was on Earth, with no evil. Tell me this, my son. Where is the joy of snuggling close in front of the fireplace if there is no cold to ward off?”

 

Gabriel thought about this, never having considered it in that way. He opened his mouth to reply, but Mama continued.

“If you are not hot, then where is the pleasure in a cool swim in the pond? If you do not cry sometimes, where is the comfort of the arms of a loved one? These things are all human, and in keeping our humanity in this way, we still must contend with them. But here, the evils of illness are short-lived, injury passes quickly, and death is not a concern. Spite, malice, and jealousy simply are not. You’ll understand more if you stay, Gabriel.”

“Oh, I’m staying!” Gabriel exclaimed, walking behind Mama onto the porch. “There are too many things I have left to do,” he added, glancing down at Thomas, his heart pounding. Thomas returned his gaze, licking his lips a little, an unspoken understanding passing between them.

“You must be exhausted from everything that’s happened,” Mama said, smiling as she obviously noticed the exchange, opening the door for Gabriel and Thomas to pass through. Vague memories again assaulted Gabriel’s senses as he examined the furnishings. “Why don’t you show him your room, Thomas?”

Thomas smiled and nodded, while Gabriel smiled as well, delighted. He had dreamed of nothing more than holding Thomas in his arms, warm and safe, those many nights shivering in a bedroll during the dead of winter. Now those dreams would become a reality.

They quickly washed up, changing into nightshirts that were hanging on the back of the door in the manner that Mama always hung them. Gabriel was too happy and tired to question how they already had clothes in his size and style preference – it was Heaven, after all – and instead slipped wordlessly beneath the quilt, that looked exactly like one that Grandmama had pieced for them long ago.

With no hesitation, Thomas turned and scooted closer, running a bare foot over Gabriel’s. Gabriel gasped at the contact of bare skin on skin, and it sent a tingling flush through his body. He turned his own body toward Thomas, their lips meeting again in a kiss, this one hungrier and more passionate any of the others before, now that they were in the warm, private confines of the bed. A torrent of emotion suddenly broke the floodgates of Gabriel’s willpower, and he pulled slightly away from the kiss, nuzzling Thomas’s lips and whispering desperately, “Touch me, Thomas… touch me everywhere…”

Thomas moaned softly, complying with trembling hands, skimming them up Gabriel’s hips, feeling their contours through the thin nightshirt. His touch was intense on Gabriel’s skin, as though he were stimulating the nerves themselves. Thomas soon tore his lips from Gabriel’s, panting raggedly and sliding his mouth down to nuzzle and suckle lightly on his neck, his hands still stroking and caressing through the muslin nightshirt.

Gabriel felt dizzy and incredibly warm, tilting his head from one side to the other to give Thomas access to the most tender, sensitive parts of his neck. Part of his senses were rebelling, telling him that he was the man, as the older brother, and he should be leading his younger brother in this tender, intimate exploration; never once did he believe that the fact that they were doing this to begin with was wrong. After all, if it was wrong, they would not be able to do it in Heaven. However, he was a quivering, emotional mess, still in many ways trying to come to terms with his new reality, and Thomas’s confidence was reassuring as well as arousing.

Gabriel tried to take a little bit of control, pushing Thomas’s nightshirt up until it was bunched around his waist, stroking his hand along the silky skin of his hip and leg. He was incredibly warm, and the blankets were warm as well – almost stifling. But after so many years of cold while serving in the Army, Gabriel needed all the warmth he could get.

Thomas mirrored Gabriel’s actions, actually pulling his nightshirt up and off. “Thomas?” Gabriel breathed in surprise.

“Spent years watching you… dreaming about this,” Thomas panted, leaning down and reverently kissing Gabriel’s chest, his fingers fluttering over his sides and abdomen. The sensation made Gabriel feel weak all over again, and the thought that Thomas had been fantasizing about him in such a way made it almost overwhelming. Gabriel had been subjected to a great deal of sex while in the army – witnessing both men together and men with women – but he had never participated in it. After the agony of losing both Thomas and Anne, he just could never find the desire.

He had no problems with the desire now, however, and he pulled Thomas’s nightshirt off, taking in the lean, slightly muscled figure that was illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. He touched Thomas’s body with the same insistent yet reverent touch his brother was using, stopping when he reached Thomas’s chest, feeling the telltale ridge of a scar there. His heart leapt into his throat as he immediately realized what it must be, and he pulled his hands away, bringing them to his stomach to feel for the wound that must be there from Tavington’s sabre.

He felt nothing.

Thomas’s hand slid over Gabriel’s, pulling it away from his stomach and bringing it back to the jagged scar on his chest from the bullet wound. “I kept it on purpose. When I came here and saw it was gone, I wanted it back, and I got it.”

“Why?” Gabriel asked, not sure why Thomas would want such a grisly reminder of his death.

“To remind me of why I was here,” Thomas whispered, cupping Gabriel’s face, Gabriel’s hand still over the scar. He could feel Thomas’s heart racing, and the two pressed their foreheads together as Thomas whispered, “To remind me that I died for you, my brother… my love…”

Gabriel bowed his head, his forehead rubbing against Thomas’s, tears welling anew in his eyes and running down his cheeks. “And I have nothing to show for you.”

“You’re here,” Thomas said, moving closer. “That shows me all I need to know.” He wrapped his arms around his older brother, pressing their lips together urgently, gasping into Gabriel’s mouth when their erections brushed together for the first time. Gabriel’s hips jerked at the contact, as did Thomas’s, and they both broke the kiss to moan blissfully.

Thomas now seemed at a loss, although his hands continued to roam Gabriel’s torso, touching and caressing him. Gabriel wondered if Thomas had ever even touched himself – something he had indulged in many lonely nights. He reached down now, running his hand first along his own length, amazed at how sensitive and hard it was without any direct stimulation. He shivered and moaned as their members brushed again, then slipped his hand over Thomas’s. Thomas gasped, clutching at his shoulders.

“Gabriel! Ohhh….” He stiffened for a moment, then relaxed, and Gabriel felt a trickle of fluid running over his hand. Thomas was obviously quite aroused as well, and Gabriel was not certain how long either of them would hold out. He moved even closer, so their bodies were touching, wrapping his hand around both shafts, stroking them at the same time. It was an exquisite sensation, unlike anything he had ever felt. The friction of his hand, lubricated a bit by the fluid he had gathered from both of their leaking erections, plus the sensation of their shafts rubbing together was almost too good to bear.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Gabriel whispered, voice throaty and quivering, finding Thomas’s lips again as his younger brother nodded frantically. He was working his hips a little in time with Gabriel’s stroking, and Gabriel could feel his shaft throbbing a bit. He soon realized that continuing in that manner would put an abrupt end to the night, and he wasn’t sure that was what Thomas most wanted. Gabriel had several thoughts as to what he would like to do, but he was not certain Thomas was ready for them.

Thomas whimpered at the loss of sensation when Gabriel pulled away, and pressed toward him in an attempt to regain it. “Shh,” Gabriel said, stroking his arms and back. “I want to know what you want, Thomas.”

“All of it,” Thomas whispered breathlessly. “I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard… I want you… with me…”

“You want to make love?” Gabriel asked, wanting to be certain. Saying the words made him swell even harder, something he had thought impossible.

“Yes,” Thomas breathed, urging Gabriel on top of him, as though he had perhaps seen something like it before, “Please, Gabriel, make love to me.”

“All right,” Gabriel said, looking around the room for a moment, then pulling away. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered, voice shaky as he pulled his night shirt on again, glad that its billowy construction disguised his erection. He padded quietly into the kitchen, cursing to himself when his thigh bumped into the corner of the table, and found the small jar of fresh, unused cooking grease near the stove. It was what the soldiers at camp used all the time, and while Gabriel was certain there were nicer ways to do it, this was the one he knew.

 

He felt his way back to the room, pausing in the doorway to behold the sight before him. Thomas was laying in the middle of the bed, the covers off of him, staring at the doorway. The moonlight bathed his body in a pale glow, accenting the slight muscle definition and lean lines, all the way down to the soft nest of curls at the apex of his thighs. His cock arched proudly toward his belly, and Gabriel moved toward him, mesmerized by the sight of his brother in such an acute state of arousal. He disposed of his nightshirt once more, his own cock just as hard as Thomas’s, and knelt on the bed beside him, reaching out to touch him. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and Thomas smiled.

“As are you,” he replied, urging him down for another kiss, his hand kneading the muscle of Gabriel’s thigh, then his ass. “Now take me, Gabriel… I’ve waited for so long…”

“Anything you desire, my Thomas,” Gabriel whispered fervently, gathering a generous amount of the grease on his fingers, tracing the fingers of his other hand along Thomas’s inner thighs. Thomas spread his legs wide at the touch, almost automatically, and sighed when Gabriel’s fingers continued upward, skimming over his balls and beneath them, teasing lightly. “Sensitive, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Thomas sighed, watching Gabriel with dark, glittering eyes as he moved between his legs.

“Give me your leg,” Gabriel instructed Thomas, taking his long leg and putting it over his shoulder, leaning forward a bit. This spread Thomas wide, making him vulnerable to Gabriel’s touches. As naughty as it felt, Gabriel couldn’t help but stare at the sight of his brother like this, his most intimate places open and exposed for only him to see and touch. It filled him with a sensation of love and awe, and he bit his lip to check his emotion before reaching down and lightly caressing over the tender skin of his entrance with his slick fingers.

Thomas moaned, shivering, panting and staring up at Gabriel. “It’s all right,” Gabriel repeated, running his fingers around and liberally distributing the grease. “Do you like it?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Thomas said with a nod, his hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. “Amazing…”

“I’m going to push in now,” Gabriel whispered, stroking his leg when Thomas’s eyes widened. “It will make you ready to take me, so it doesn’t hurt, all right?” Thomas nodded, watching him closely, but with a countenance that spoke only of trust and love. Gabriel bit his lip in concentration, trying to remember how it was that the men always did this, not wanting to go too quickly and hurt his brother. He pushed with as much force as he dared, amazed at how much he had to apply before the muscle gave way, allowing him entrance.

“Ohhhh,” Thomas sighed, panting roughly and obviously trying to relax. His inner muscles were quivering as Gabriel slid his finger deeper, and he swore he had never felt anything so wonderful in his life. It was incredibly hot, and Thomas was so sensitive that every movement elicited another moan or whine. Gabriel pushed as deep as he could get, exploring a facet of lovemaking that was impossible to gain knowledge of while just observing, amazed at how intimate and intense it all was. Thomas didn’t seem to be in any pain, so he continued, feeling the muscle slowly relaxing.

As he moved to withdraw his finger a little, Thomas suddenly stiffened and shrieked, panting hysterically and staring at Gabriel. “What… what did you do?!” he demanded.

Gabriel blinked, perplexed, pushing his finger in again and withdrawing it as he had before. Again, Thomas shrieked, this time grabbing a pillow and biting into it to muffle it, so as not to wake Mama or the children. Gabriel realized there was a soft, pliant swell there, and he proceeded to rub it lightly again, fascinated as Thomas writhed and bucked beneath his attentions, a sheen of sweat quickly forming on his skin. He seemed to be loving it though, so Gabriel saw no reason to stop, pressing a bit harder, even.

Thomas’s muscles clenched around him at this, and his body jerked so hard that Gabriel feared he may snap his wrist with the way he was carrying on. He pressed a hand down on Thomas’s hip in an effort to keep him still, while continuing to move the finger in and out, caressing and teasing that particular spot whenever he could. Thomas fought his restraint, although seemingly reflexively, until finally he tore the pillow from his mouth and gasped, “Gabriel! Enough, please!”

“Does it hurt?” Gabriel asked, ceasing immediately any movement.

“No…” Thomas gasped, laying back, trying to catch his breath. “It feels like I’m going to burn up. Like I’m going to melt… Oh, I can’t take it any more, Gabriel… I don’t know what’s going to happen…” He was shaking, his eyes wide and dilated. Gabriel knew what he meant, and nodded, withdrawing his finger from him and reaching over for more of the grease, applying it liberally to his erection.

Thomas watched intently, his leg still draped over Gabriel’s shoulder. When Gabriel was finished, he took Thomas’s other leg and guided it over his other arm, leaning over him. He had seen several variations of the positioning to do this, but this one – while a little more awkward – allowed him to see Thomas’s face, which was important to him. “Are you ready?” Thomas nodded. “You tell me if it hurts, and we’ll go slower. We have forever, remember?” Gabriel tried to smile reassuringly, but he was just as afraid of this as Thomas.

Thomas nodded again, and Gabriel could feel his hot, quick breaths on his skin as he rubbed the head of his cock against Thomas’s entrance. He strove to keep his entry slow, but as he began to sink in, the heat and snug grip of his muscle urged him further as quickly as possible, the desire to be fully sheathed in him undeniable and unrelenting. Thomas breathed even harder, wincing as he was penetrated, but bearing whatever discomfort there was with no protest. It wasn’t long, then, until Gabriel was fully sheathed in him, and they lay as one.

They were content to remain in this way for several moments. Gabriel let Thomas’s legs slip a little, until they were hooked over the crooks of his elbows – this allowed him to lean forward and feast on his lips for several more moments. They kissed and enjoyed something they had never dared to dream of in their lifetimes – a moment where they would truly be as close as they possibly could be. Gabriel knew at that moment that it was truly Heaven.

However heavenly, both of their bodies still had human urges, and they could only stand to kiss for so long before the urge to thrust made Gabriel pull back and begin a slow, gentle rhythm. Thomas sighed, smiling, seeming to enjoy the penetration, every once in a while moving his hips to spur Gabriel on faster. Gabriel did so, finding the feeling wholly unlike anything he had ever experienced with himself. It was perfect in every way.

“Gabriel?” Thomas asked suddenly, voice breathy and a little strained.

“Yes?”

“Do you think… somehow you can still touch that place?” Thomas was obviously blushing in the moonlight, and Gabriel had to think for a moment what he was talking about. He couldn’t exactly put his fingers in there now, but perhaps…

“Let me try,” he whispered, kissing Thomas’s swollen lips once more. He began to move slowly in and out of him, as he had done with his finger, shifting his hips and attempting to find a way to still touch it. A gasp from Thomas as he clamped his hand over his mouth to stifle a scream told Gabriel that his effort had been successful, and he took up his rhythm again, entranced by Thomas’s reactions. His body bucked and twitched violently, but in the position he was in, with Gabriel’s full weight on him, it was difficult for him to do much more than receive what he was given. Gabriel sped up his thrusts, spurred on by a natural instinct, watching in amazement as Thomas – apparently spurred by instinct himself – hesitantly slid his hand over his abdomen toward his swollen, dripping member.

“Touch yourself, Thomas,” Gabriel encouraged him, never easing the pace, sweat beading and dripping from his face. Thomas complied, sighing and shuddering as he began to stroke himself in time with Gabriel’s movements. His stroking quickly became erratic though, and Gabriel knew that they would not last long. He bit his lip, fighting back the clenching in his own loins, wanting to fully experience Thomas’s pleasure before finding his own. He didn’t wait long.

“Gabriel!” Thomas inhaled sharply, his head flinging backward as his body completely stiffened, his legs locking around Gabriel’s arms as he groaned, taking laborious breaths. His muscles seized around Gabriel’s cock, squeezing him hard, urging him to fill him, while Thomas’s cock twitched in his hand, flooding his belly with a copious surge of fluid. Thomas continued to writhe, his head tossing back and forth and the fingers of his other hand digging into Gabriel’s arm so hard that he thought he might bruise. But the slight pain made the insane pleasure of their orgasm even more intense, and with a keening wail that he was unable to suppress, Gabriel let go, releasing into Thomas. He continued to thrust as he came, feeling his movements growing even more slick and easy as his seed filled Thomas to overflowing. He was shuddering and shaking, tears streaking down his face – he had never felt anything so intense. Thomas was sobbing as well, eyes closed tightly but a smile of unabashed joy on his face. “Gabriel,” he whispered, voice choked with emotion as he finally opened his eyes, which were wet with tears. “Gabriel…”

“Thomas,” Gabriel sighed, slowly pulling out when he had calmed down, and collapsing on the bed beside him. He was exhausted, but in a way he had never been before. While his body was tired, it felt as though there was pure heat and energy pumping through his veins. He looked over at Thomas, who was still staring at him, and they both threw their arms around each other, kissing again with reckless passion.

“I love you,” Thomas whispered in between kisses.

“And I you,” Gabriel replied, pressing their wet, sticky bodies close, his head swimming. He had yet to wake from this dream, so he had begun to accept it as truly real. He was in a place where he would never know the pain and sadness that war and oppression had brought to his life and family, where he could stay as long as he desired. He would soon see old friends that had passed on before, and perhaps through the mystery of the water Thomas had shown him, find out what had become of the Cause. But most importantly to Gabriel, he was with his family, and his first and only true love in life – and beyond. “I love you Thomas… forever.”


End file.
